Can we all stop moaning about our neighbours having loud sex?
We don’t want our housemates to know we’re having sex either, so the silent, minimal creakage sex continues onwards.
Even if we’re lucky enough to get our own homes, we’re still not safe
to let loose and moan the house down, because now, apparently, our
neighbours will write us a passive aggressive note and shame us on the
internet.
We can’t have loud sex at hotels (because there are business people
sleeping before big meetings in the next room). We can’t have loud sex
in our homes.
Is there anywhere we can have sex without holding back our moans of pleasure for fear of judgement?
Of course, a lot of our sex-silencing is down to our own issues of embarrassment.
Our culture, for strange reasons I still don’t understand, encourages us to treat sex as a massive secret.
We’re
ashamed of buying condoms,
weird about admitting we’re on the pill, and wouldn’t dare to say ‘hey,
I’m leaving this party so I can have sex with my partner’.
Despite the fact that having sex is considered a normal part of being
an adult, we’re all committed to pretending we aren’t having any –
other than clarifying that yes, we have had sex fairly recently, and
we’re not people incapable of getting intimate.
That’s why we’re so often silent around housemates and neighbours. We
want to create the illusion that we’re not sex-having humans, we’re
silent, perfect housemates who never leave poos in the toilet and make
our own meals every night (hence the hidden takeaway containers, too).
We all know that the people around us are human beings with feelings
and needs. They poo. They have sex. And when they have sex, they might
enjoy it enough to make some loud noises.
Hiding away all of this stuff isn’t healthy, and it’s stopping us
from having the happiest, freest lives we can – because we’re treating
something brilliant (meaning enjoyable sex) like it’s something to be
ashamed of.
Passive aggressive notes and angry reactions from neighbours don’t help things.
I get that loud noises at unsociable hours aren’t okay – and they shouldn’t be accepted.
If your neighbours/housemates/parents are so loud they’re keeping you
awake, they’re doing it after 11pm, and it’s happening almost every
night, sure, politely ask them if they can be a little quieter.
But that’s unlikely to be the case.
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